Bad news

Beta only rose to 70 - not enough to be viable.

Now the nurses are concerned it could be ectopic - what a cruel twist of fate if a healthy embryo implanted in the wrong spot. I am really hoping it isn't - as just want it all to be over with.

Expecting a call from doctor today. I am still taking all the drugs - and still couldn't bring myself to have a glass of wine last night - crap isn't it.

They want me to have another blood test on Sunday - but we are going to be in a completely remote spot - and Monday will be a long ferry ride and a plane back to Sydney.

So it will have to be Tuesday - unless ofcourse I get ectopic symptoms and then will head to the nearest hospital double quick.

We were driving through some of the most beautiful countryside I have ever seen yesterday when the bad news came through. I howled with the pain of a thousand arrows to the heart.

I have felt the past few days that my 'sickness' was too sporadic - it would come it a wave and be gone. I had been keeping away from the pee sticks.

Beta has RISEN

Wellllllllll - my beta has risen from 18 to 50 - so it has done what it was supposed to - but still not out of the woods.

Another blood test planned for Thursday - this time in Christchurch. Our holiday in NZ is turning into a hop between pathology labs. But I am VERY HAPPY TO BE DOING IT.

Also pleased to say I am still feeling sick in the gut - most of the day - except when I am eating - which is often!!

Thanks for everyones good wishes - please keep praying for me

***addded**** not sure I am going to be able to post on thursday as we are heading to wine country... so don't assume no news is bad news.

VERY low positive

I thought I was going to have heart attack when the nurse rang me - she made me repeat my name address and date of birth - I didn't think I was going to be able to say it - my pulse was racing so hard - my breath sooooo sharp.

And the news: beta 18 at 10dpo 3dt. She said they like to see it at 60.

It's not good - tho she did say it could be a late implanter.

Please say a prayer for me.

Another blood test in NZ on Monday.

What a day.

And finally I have symptoms: metallic taste and a 'sick' feeling in my gut.
LONG MAY IT CONTINUE.

****Added Saturday morning here now - and I have finally peed on a stick - and I am looking at a nice pink second line - not super strong - not nearly as strong as the control line - but not one where you have to squint or hold at a certain angle. Also I am feeling properly sick - like nausea. Ooooo I have let hope take over my heart - to misquote evil stepmonster.

Counting down and still no pee sticks

Tomorrow (Friday) is d-day - and I am trying to prepare myself. One moment it is bad news - the next it is good. I could ofcourse sort all this out and pee on a stick - but being a perverse type of person - that seems too easy - and ofcourse - it could well end the hope I have in my heart!!

I will head off at 7am tomorrow morn for blood - and hope I hear in the afternoon. I am in Sydney and IVF clinic is in Melb - one wouldn't imagine in this day and age that should slow the process up - but who knows.

I am working tomorrow night (someone sick) - so I will have plenty of time to post the results.

Any symptoms I hear you ask: NOPE. Well - not really - I had cramping five or six days ago - gone now. I do have dreadful gas - but that is the progresterone as I had it the past two times.

Beta Friday August 22nd

I spoke to my doctor yesterday (actually on email - it is a great way to get a quick reponse from her - lucky I have found this out at the end of the cycle rather than at the start - or I would have driven her mad)- and she has given me the thumbs up to have an early beta cause of my NZ trip.

She has said the numbers may be low - and I may have to repeat - but hey - take it from me - any bloody numbers will be met with joy.

I could potentially pee on a stick today - and see if there is anything going on - but I am just too scared.

I had a little bit of cramping last night - and feel very full in that pre period type of way - but that is about it. I thought I might have had a strange taste in my mouth yesterday - but wonder if I was making it up.

Could I face not peeing - and just going for blood test on Friday - and then getting a negative result with no husband here to comfort me - well I have done it before - but then again - I had started spotting.

Anyway - I am jumping ahead of myself. I keep thinking I should just be enjoying these days - where hope is still alive - in case it gets the bullet on Friday.

5 dpo - 3dt

Mmmmm nothing much to report - except to say I am awake at 01.30am - progesterone doesn't seem to make me sleepy!!!

I had a couple of days of sore boobs and a few tiny cramps but nothing now - just eating like a horse (thanks progesterone).

This two week wait feels quite different from the other two - I suppose not being on mega doses of FSH recently would always make it so.

Beta is supposed to be Monday 25th of August - except I am going to be in New Zealand on the first day of my holiday.

Sooooo I am going to try and bring it forward to Friday 23rd. Only draw back with that is that my husband will have already left for NZ and I will be getting the news on my own (well - I do have a lovely girlfriend who says she will take me out to celebrate - or get wildly drunk and sob into my tissues)

I know my dear sweet sister will start suggesting I pee on sticks by Tuesday or Wednesday - and as I have had no trigger injection - it would be safe too. But am I ready for the news.

Good luck to everyone else with betas around this time. The July gang have been rather lucky with BFPs - hoping to join the party.

Two on board

It is actually Monday in Australia - so ignore the date stamp up the top.

Now for the good news - my transfer went as smooth as smooth (unlike first transfer in London where they had to stop half way through cause I was about to throw up and my hands had gone numb)!

I have two embryos on board - one 'very very good' compacting eight cell - and one slower six cell. I am home and have been in bed a few hours with my feet up - and am feeling fine.

The bad news is - there was nothing to freeze. Only four of the seven eggs fertilized - and two stopped growing last night. I do wonder about the culture Melb IVF grow the embryos in - or what goes on in their lab.

But anyway - I am home feeling extremely grateful to my dear sister. She is very sad only two made it. The doctor said to me this morning - 'she wants this sooo much to work for you'. It brought tear to my eyes.

And there was also some good news in that the usual pre transfer freak out by my husband didn't happen. He was sweet and loving through out. Long may it and my embryos continue!!!

Transfer at 9.50 am Monday

Nurses have confirmed embryo transfer on Monday - but can't tell me how many fertilised or how many are still cooking - I am feeling very frustrated. It seems a very weird way of doing things - not tellimg me until I turn up tomorrow for transfer.


Anyway - off to see my sister - I am very pleased to say she is feeling no ill effects of ER or the drugs she has been shooting up this past two weeks or so. Thank the lord.

7 eggs

ER was yesterday - and they got 7 eggs from 8 follicles!! My sister is fine - she was a bit sore yesterday - and I tried to help as much as I can with all her kids.

My husband looked after her 3 year old while we went in for transfer. He ended up down at the beach with her (a good 20 minute walk with a 3 year old) - and they had a great time.

Sooooo hoping for more good news today- not sure if they ring me and tell me how they are going - or if i have to wait until tomorrow when they ring to give me transfer time.

I am feeling quite calm about it all.

ER is on Friday

Hey - sorry for going missing in action. My husband has arrived from the UK and we decided to take a few days and drive down from Sydney to Melbourne.

ER is on Friday - I am still hoping for eight eggs - as of Monday that looked like a possibility - my sister had two at 15 - and six at 13 - hoping they all are nice and mature.

I also have managed to extract a three day transfer out of clinic (they seem to always do two) - so hoping I have done the right thing there.

ET is set down for Monday - I am due back at work on Tuesday - but as I will also need to fly back to Sydney (just hired a car for a one way trip down) - and want to take it easy - I am poised to ring work and try and get Tuesday off too. Anyone with tales of taking it easy and getting a positive - rather than racing back to work?

Looking forward to seeing my sister tomorrow - she says she is 'over the injections' - poor old thing - I asked her yesterday how she felt - and she says she has the same feeling as when you are first pregnant - the same pain.

My husband said yesterday that I owe her big time - I thing that is the understatement of the century.