Monday, July 13, 2009

Beta falling

HPTs continued to get slightly lighter - and yesterday (Sunday) I started spotting.

This morning it was now a full bright red flow - went for Beta test anyway - and it has dropped to 96 from 134 last week.

I don't suppose I will ever know if it was a new pregnancy or left over from the miscarriage.

Boooo hoooo. I wish I hadn't let myself get my hopes up. It is all too much straight off the back of recent miscarriage just 5 weeks ago.

Saturday, July 11, 2009

Mad woman

As the heading suggests I have become one!!

I have been peeing on sticks like one anyway.

And the second line on the sticks is getting lighter!!

I am preparing myself for the worst. And also I have stopped feeling so quesy. I wouldn't say I feel fine or normal even - but that feeling of being pregnant is going.

As I said I am preparing for this mirarcle to be over. I don't want it to be. I want to be a mum - not a mad woman.

2nd Beta is on Monday.

Thursday, July 09, 2009

Surprise beta of 134

Finally found somewhere to have a beta blood test today - it aint easy when you haven't got an IVF doctor.

I went to my GP and he thought I should have a blood test in August - not bloody likely.

Anyway at great expense to the management - at a very posh private clinic - I have a beta of 134!!

God only knows what day it is past ovulation - if indeed I did ovulate.

I suppose that is the issue - and if I didn't feel so pregnant I would think it was just left over HCG from the miscarriage.

But the wave of quesyness has hit me - just like it did when I was pregnant last month.

The proof will be in a repeat beta on Sunday - won't know results until Monday.

Monday, July 06, 2009

Weird positive HPT

It is 4 weeks tomorrow since I started to miscarry - and it was a week of solid bleeding and then a few days of brown stuff.

Weirdly - I have been thinking period must be due again shortly but was preparing myself for an extra long cycle cause of the ill fated pregnancy etc etc.

Yesterday morning I woke up feeling slightly 'odd' and thought what the hell - and promptly peed on a HPT and got an instant strong positvie second line. Not a wait 5 mins and stare at it holding under a light - but a super strong line straight away.

Needless to say I spent the rest of the afternoon on Dr Google reading about how hcg can stay in your blood for 4 to 6 weeks.

I didn't end up having a d and c as I went for a scan three days after starting to bleed and doc said sac was gone etc. And as I hoped on a plane back to London several days later I have had no blood tests to see if HCG went back to zero.

I can't imagine at my age and with husband's dodgy sperm we could possibly have got pregnant the old fashioned way!!

I have emailed my doc in Australia who says to go have several betas to see which way HCG is going.

Praying for a mirarcle.