Thursday, August 19, 2010

Negative beta

Thanks everybody - your comments have all made me feel like I am not in this alone.

Again - sorry - I can not reply to most - especially music maker (lovely to hear from you and I have been thinking of you often) and roccie road (you are not a selfish cow)

Beta day was as expected a bastard - the highlight was the dopey nurse trying to suggest I had come in too early when I rang in the afternoon for the results. It did hit home to me again - what a mistake doing a 5 day transfer was - cause clearly the nurse seemed to have never heard of it.

Anyway - this isn't going to be a bitter rant. Perhaps I will save that for another day or anyone in London looking for good fertility clinic - contact me - and I will tell you where not to go.

My lovely donor sent me an email saying how upset she was it hadn't worked... and that she hadn't know how she would feel - but she is ready to go again - if I want.

What a girl.

And needless to say my husband is beside himself with remorse for not wanting me to put two back.

But once the dust has settled - the question will be what to do with the frozen embryo. The thought of putting anymore money in those peoples pockets truly makes me feel sick.

Anyone ever taken their frozen embryo to another clinic?


Blogger Sarah said...

If you aren't comfortable with this clinic, pack up that sweet little egg and take it someplace else. They will just have to deal with it. I am sure there is a clinic out there who will be happy to help you. I know you can transfer eggs someplace else because there was a blog I read who got a tank to send them to a different clinic for donation.

So sorry for the negative beta. I am thinking of you.

12:33 PM  
Blogger Dandle Dreams said...

I know that my clinic is happy to transfer emryos to other clinics, so it's probable that yours will too. Remember, it's _your_ embryo.

The "what if?"s must be driving you both crazy. Be kind to yourself and each other, and remind yourselves that you made the best decision that you could at the time.

So sorry again, for the negative result.

12:40 AM  
Blogger Roccie said...

I am so sorry this has come to an end. I am so sorry.

I cannot bear the feeling of hopelessness coupled with regret. It is easy for us to see from the outside how the choice to transfer one instead of two can lead you down that path. I feel comfortable speaking for everyone, from the outside, you cannot take on that responsibility.

Easy for me to say, right? I am certain I would feel the same way, it is hard not to awfulize after a failed cycle. Please be kind to yourself and don't "what if". Dandle is right on.

Should you change your mind on the bitter rant, we are here to pick up the pieces. If it needs to come out, let it rip.

Have you done an FET in the past? I need to read again. I think the reduced pressure will be welcome.

Your donor is a doll. I love her.

11:48 AM  
Blogger Roccie said...

About the day 5 transfer... I know every RE has his or her own thing, but mine prefers a day 5.

Please try not to let it eat you. I know that feeling all too well and I hate to think of you wrestling w it.

11:51 AM  
Blogger Roccie said...

Hey, I have been eating blogs all day. I came back here to tell you the best fertility clinic in the US, CCRM, shoots for a day 5 or day 6 tranfer.

Rest, my dear.

7:15 PM  
Blogger Bee Cee said...

So sport to hear the news hun. You so deserve a break. You know Portia moved her frozen embryo to the clinic that gave her B? maybe she could help your thinking.

Here if you need me x

6:51 AM  
Blogger Portia P said...

I'm so sorry my dear. And really sorry to have been AWOL during your 2WW.

As BeeCee says, we moved our embryo from our unsuccessful clinic to our fantastic clinic that got us B. I really, really, really think you should go there and they can check out any other issues that might be affecting implantation.

Mail me offline and I can give you all the info. Happy to chat too

HUGE hug (( )) xxx

5:49 AM  
Blogger Musicmakermomma said...

Well, that just sucks. But how wonderful your donor sounds - what a lovley girl. If you have access to another clinic I'd be out the door. You absolutely (should) be able to move the embie to another clinic, although I think different areas have different laws about such things (stupid - it's YOUR embie). Good luck, maybe we'll even be cycle buddies down the road...

10:38 PM  
Blogger Mrs. Lemon said...

I have just transferred 6 frozen embryos from one clinic to another. Overall, outside of lots of paperwork, not a bad process and Mr. Lemon was able to move them himself. I'm so sorry for your BFN but wish you much luck in the future. Hugs- Mrs. Lemon

11:25 AM  
Blogger Roccie said...

Any news from you dear Anxi?

4:35 PM  

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