damn it

I got my period this morning - dashing hopes of arriving home in Australia - with good news - damn it. After sobbing trip to the bathroom - I had a row with my husband this morning - he says I blame him - and the scary truth is - I probably do. He has been so reluctant - about the baby thing. He went through IVF with his ex wife - and no child resulted - so it is slightly understandable - but I now feel like I am just toooooo old.... I told him this morning - I feel like a little bit of me dies every month when my period arrives. Anyway - we have kissed and made up - and will have a nice drunken holiday at home - and tackle the IVF issue when we return in December. Happy holidays.

damn it

I got my period this morning - dashing hopes of arriving home in Australia - with good news - damn it. After sobbing trip to the bathroom - I had a row with my husband this morning - he says I blame him - and the scary truth is - I probably do. He has been so reluctant - about the baby thing. He went through IVF with his ex wife - and no child resulted - so it is slightly understandable - but I now feel like I am just toooooo old.... I told him this morning - I feel like a little bit of me dies every month when my period arrives. Anyway - we have kissed and made up - and will have a nice drunken holiday at home - and tackle the IVF issue when we return in December. Happy holidays.

sore throat

Grrrrrr - I spent an hour and half sitting in my doctor's surgery this afternoon - as all around people coughed and carried on.
I now feel hot and have a sore throat - and all for nothing. Somehow I assumed the doctor would give me the results from my husbands sperm test - but no - it's confidential!!!! The annoying thing is - its now most likely going to be a month before we know - as my husband is away for work - and is not back until late tomorrow - and that only leaves friday - as we go to Australia for three weeks on Monday. Somehow I can't imagine after being away for a week - I am going to get him into the doctor's for at least an hour on friday. Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.

yucky oragne juice

It is one of my fav things - freshly squeezed orange juice - in fact tho i love love my wine (AUSTRALIAN - OFCOURSE) - i often think i would be happy drinking oj (usually after a big night - when i wish i had eased off earlier) forever. but today - it tasted foul - and left me with dreadful heartburn. ooooo please let it be a sign.

My temp was very high this morning but then again it is the part of my cycle where it should be high.

I am off to Australia for three weeks holiday next week - both my sisters have four children each - and one has them all under 5!!! Dear lord - please let me be going back home with happy news.

first post

Hello - I have been a infertility blog lurker for at least 12 months - as I have surfed and surfed in the quest to quell my baby hunger. So now I am going to relish it - rather than watch from a far.

I am about to turn 40 - and have only just got husband on board the baby wagon. We have been trying of sorts for the past 6 months - tho I have been trying (if you know what i mean!!) for longer. I have had every test known to man - and despite several large fibroids- and high ish fsh - all is fine with me. My husband for a sperm test on Wednesday - so we await the findings.

In the meantime - I keep up the hope that this month might be the month.