Symptomless

Not a symptom in the house! And weirdly (is it weird?) - I kinda like the prog pess thingys -I feel calm and focussed. Have just arrived in sunny (make that HOT) Sydney - so nothing like flying around the world and being thrown into the arms of my dear dear old friends - to take your mind off the two week wait.

I don't know why I feel sooooo optimistic - CRAZY - maybe its cause the cycle turned me into the poster girl for 'poor responders' - and everything and everyone screamed cancel, chuck it in - and we put sooo much faith in this one embryo - I am sure it won't let us down. Or maybe it is the progesterone making me feel like a mum already.

Either way - we are giving it a shot - what life is all about. - hey!

on board but worried

My embryo is on-board the good ship 'worried about everything'.

Transfer was a nightmare - or should I say the first time they tried to do it it was - the second time is was like nothing. The doctor thinks she hit a nerve in my cervix - cause in the space of one second I went from fine to sweating, numb hands and about to throw up. Not much fun - anyway - they stopped - and let me spend 10 mins coming back to life - and then did it again - and wow it was easy - such a weird experience.

Since then - I have spent far too long on dr google - and am now worried as all hell - that my embryo was only two cells on day 2. The embryologist said two cells was fine - and everything seems to say between 2 and 4 cells - but dr google also says there is an increase in implantation if it has turned into a 4 cell. Having said that - it could have developed into 4 cells half an hour after it was transfered. On the plus side - they were two very even cells with little fragmantation.

Crikey - I have got to stop this worrying - it will achieve nothing. I am awake at 3am - I hope my cells are still awake too and growing.........

ONE fertilised egg - Yeahhhh

Good good good news - the one mature egg fetilised overnight! Retrieval went fine - the two other eggs which turned up late in the piece - were too small - soooo there was a lot hanging on that one egg. Soooo far - it has done us proud! Transfer is tomorrow - I am going into clinic today to ask about assisted hatching. Does anyone else know much about it?

Retrieval on tuesday

Went back to the clinic on Friday - and would you believe - they found several more eggs - not big - but biggish. And the star follicle from Wednesday had grown a lot.

Sooo after much agonising - going ahead with retrieval on tuesday. Obviously - there may only be one - and they have warned it may be empty - but after weeping and howling soooo much on Wednesday - I am feeling lucky.

The doctor said at my age with my fsh - we were lucky to get one!! I don't agree - and think a different protocol at a different clinic - we will get more.

Trigger shot tonight! What a few days.

crash and burn

Cycle cancelled - only one egg.

Spent several hours sobbing and wailing - feeling like my dream had died - but am starting to pick myself up.

I knew from the start that a long protocol was not going to be right for someone of my age and fsh - and surprise surprise it wasn't. I am also pissed off at my clinic - husband and I waited 40 mins after the scan for a doctor to come talk to us about - what happeneed - what now - and eventually when noone came we just got up and left. I rang about two hours ago - and still noone has called me back.

Also pissed off at taking stims for 8 days before a scan - CRAP.

And can I also say a big double crap at my body for failing to deliver a few - that was all I was hoping for - a few eggs.

Something going on!

Day 4 of stims - and something is going on in there!

I woke up this morning at 3 with mild cramps - strong enough to stop me sleeping but not sharp - more like a dull ache. I had two baby asprin - and the pain vanished and I went back to sleep. My clinic doesn't see me again until Day 8 - which seems like an enternity - and it feels like anything could happen in that time.

All fine today - not a niggle - I think I will see how I go over the weekend - and then if it is still worrying me on Monday - will try and have a scan then.

Off to France tomorrow for the weekend - what a pity wine and coffee are off the menu - still I can have a warm, buttery croissant or two.

Stim on

First Gonal F jab is out of the way - only bit I messed up a bit was not leaving the needle in for a few seconds after I had pushed the button for the last time - I pulled the needle out and there was a little drop on the top - I then remembered the nurse saying leave it in for a bit. Oooo well - tomorrow I will do better.

Yesterday went okay - things got better after they eventually found my ovaries. At first one Nurse found what she thought might have been them (i have fibroids and an active bowel (?) which made it hard... so she said) - and while I got dressed she went back to my notes and found the last nurse two weeks ago - couldn't find them - so she came back and said she needed to do it again - and went and got another nurse. This time they definately saw right ovary and they think they saw left ovary.

They counted six or so antral follicles on right- and a few on left -tho they couldn't say for sure - cause they were not 100 percent sure it was the left ovary. I feel more optimistic we may actually get a few eggs to transfer after they saw the antral follicles - everything I have read seems to show they are the number one indicator - at least eggs are there.

I am off to accupuncture this morning. Fraid - I have been slack with it for the past few months (5 months actually) - and wonder what she is going to think of me rocking in during the stims and expecting it to help do the trick.

Anticipation - day 17

Tomorrow feels like a big day - I go in for my scan AND HOPEFULLY will get the nod to start stims.

My period finally started on friday night - and I can't tell you how much better I felt after- physcially and mentally it was like a huge weight had been lifted. I am now off work for the next fortnight too - sooooo am preparing to have mighty big wind down - and maybe create a baby.

I know, I am an IVF newbie - and feel only hope and anticipation - though I have read enough to know how rare it is to hit the jackpot the first time.

My husband yesterday said he really hoped it worked. He has been rather reluctant to say the least - so it brought tears to my eyes.

Another amazing amazing thing is - he has given up the booze until ER. He hasn't had a drink for a week - and claims he is not going to until after he has done his 'thing'. Awhile ago I asked him if he would cut down around ER - and the last week he announced he was giving it up - I thought he would last a day - but he has really surprised me.

day 12 of down regs - why no period?

I starting to wonder if it is ever going to come? It is day 12 of injecting burselin - and I have six more days before I am due to go for a scan and start stims. Is it possible to start if I don't get my period? It has felt like it is coming for days but alas no. Funny hey - every month I'd kill to get no period - and it ALWAYS turns up - right on time. Has burselin made anybody elses period seriously late?

The burselin has been fine - no moody grumpy cow in my house - or no more so than usual. A bit hot at night time but no night sweats as it were. Easy peasy.