We GO again

Sis and I and had a good chat with the doctor - tho it was kinda weird cause we were both on speaker phone.

The doc went over again about how 'well' last cycle went and it was 'a very good result' - just not quite good enough.... i.e no bloody baby.

We are going to do a pill flare cycle starting straight away or as soon as my sister gets her period.... which should be any day now. She is going to 'induce' mine.

And sister will do higher dose of FSH right from the start. I asked the doc if she triggered sister too early last time after too long on fsh (she started her at a very low dose then had to up it after 6 days of almost no growth). She ofcourse couldnt really answer that... but that is my theory for the poor egg quality.

Sister is being a mega star about all of this - and is saying she will do accupuncture this time too.

Here is hoping for second time lucky.

One week on

I feel like my life has rewinded to three months ago - no husband and nooooooooooooooo baby. Blood test yesterday showed beta had returned to 2... at least it wasn't ectopic .... or if it was at least it wasn't troublesome.

This came on top of the news yesterday that my husband's niece is pregnant.

I have been expecting this since I stayed with them last year and spotted the folic acid in the cupboard. She is just 27 or 28 - and has just clocked over 2 years in her current job - so I expect the timing was neatly arranged for maternity leave.

She is a lovely girl and I can't be jealous - but I have a rage deep inside at the ease of which she is fulfilling this basic human instinct.

My sister and I have phone 'chat' with our doctor on Wednesday and we will be pushing for a flare cycle.

Sunday bloody sunday

My beta is slowly falling and my period has started. I have stopped feeling cheated and angry - and now feel grateful for the chance to have another go.

I tried to throw out my collection of positive pee sticks this morning - but couldn't quite bring myself to - maybe next week.

My husband went back to UK yesterday and we both cried like babies at the airport for at least an hour before he went. I felt a bit like a freak show - grown adults that could not stop wailing.

We have made the resolution that unless he has a very clear approved (by his boss) plan in the next month to take 12 months off - then - I will go back to UK.

So this will most likely mean I have another go at IVF in the next few months - and if he is not coming - then I will be back in UK by Christmas.

Life is too short to go on any longer apart.

Beta still rising

We are back from holidays and I had another blood test yesterday - and despite stopping the drugs my beta is still climbing slowly - tho my progesterone is falling - and nurse thinks my period will probably start by the weekend.

I spoke to the doctor last night - she thinks we came 'very very close'. My sister rang me yesterday and said 'let's give it another go' - I cried and cried. She is so sweet - and I know she found the injections hard - and she had a dreadful few days 'coming down' from the drugs. The doctor said she would fully support us giving it another go.

Soooooooo it seems like we will. When tho - I have no idea. My husband flies back to the UK on Sunday - I think I will hide in his suitcase. Booooooo hooooooooooo