Groan

I have been having period like cramps for days and have just started to bleed. My scan is on Friday. But Doc has told me to still prepare for d & c - i.e no breakfast on Friday morning.

My lovely sister is also having a grim time - she has found with previous two cycles - this part is always the hardest. She is waiting for her first proper period - and has been having cramps and feeling crap.

I feel so bad - as she has gone through this for me.

We are both eating like horses.

All over

I had my six week six day scan this morning - and while the sac was much bigger - it was completely empty.

I held on hope for the hour or so after until I saw my doctor - almost the first thing said was 'well at least we know one hundred percent there is no baby in the there' - to which I promptly burst into tears.

I knew it - but I was still kinda hoping they may give me a few more days.

I have now stopped all drugs and doc is hoping I may start bleeding naturally. I am booked in for a d and c next Friday in case it does not happen.

Doc thinks I should be hopefully for the three frozen ones - but just at the moment I am crying for the first time for the baby I DON'T have inside of me.