Big fat negative

I was completely gobsmacked - I really thought I had cracked it this time... that will teach me.

I just didn't have the sore boobs and funny taste in my mouth like last time.

I am completely devastated... I think that is it really - can't ask my sister to go through all that again.

I just feel numb - I am at work trying to hold it together but don't think I am going to make it through the day.