Tuesday, March 20, 2007

Snowy tuesday

I don't have much to write these days - my husband says most days he knows we need to do IVF - he says he knows he needs to say to me 'let's do IVF' - but he is scared.

I too am scared. Scared I am going to leave before he gets the courage to say it - scared I am going to explode from frustration and rage. And so much of it is rage against him. It is very bad - so how could I want to bring a baby into a relationship that some days seems like a disaster.

I know he loves me - sometime I am not sure what I feel.

I never thought it could come to this.


Blogger Sarah said...

oh gosh, i remember how horrible those days were before we decided to do IVF. after a year of IUIs and still no diagnosis, we had such a hard time absorbing that IVF was the best option. and all the failed cycles ahd taken such a huge toll on each of us individually and on our marriage. we ended up taking a whole year break from ttc, during which we became a stronger couple than we'd ever been, and thank god now we're ready to face ivf together. i hope your struggles are no where near that trying. i hope your infertility journey happily ends soon and you don't have to go through this anymore. best of luck to you.

5:16 PM  
Blogger Baby Blues said...

Sorry for the frustrations. I'd be scared of moving up to IVF too. ART sometimes puts a strain in a relationship. Hang in there.

2:16 AM  
Blogger katty said...

Andi - you can e-mail me at kattyspurr@yahoo.co.uk and I'll answer your questions.

3:27 AM  
Blogger deanna said...

Just wanted to thank you for stopping by my blog, and reading your latest post, I can see that you and I have the whole frustrating "hesitant husband" thing in common. I wish we didn't, though.......So very sorry you're having such a hard time.

1:37 PM  
Blogger Becks said...

Saw your comment on Portia's blog and just wanted to drop you a note. Good luck on your return home to Oz and I hope that happy days are ahead.

10:25 AM  

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